John Sommerfeld: Young rebel learns life's lessons

When you see all the tattoos and piercings, the words “dork” and “nerd” don’t come to mind.

But that’s how John Sommerfeld, now 40, describes his 15-year-old self.

“Most people wouldn’t think it by looking at me now, but I was a real dork when I was in school,” John said. “I wore glasses, bifocals. I dressed the part. I was smart and made good grades. I was a nerd, and I got picked on a whole lot.”

John Sommerfeld

Then he met a guy who helped change his persona.

The glasses were the first to go.

“He said, ‘Wear these clothes, grab this skateboard and follow me.’ I was 15, and for the first time I had friends. I had a group of guys who were actually interested in hanging out with me,” John recalled.

“They were rebels. And soon, I became a rebel, too. It carried over into my home life. Fighting and rebelling.”

As friction built between John, his mom and stepdad, John began running away from home to his friend’s house.

“She would send the cops over there and I would come back home,” John said. “But then I’d go in my bedroom, lock the door, and head out the window and back over there.”

After his friend offered John the chance to live with his family, guardianship papers were signed. It was the start of a new chapter in John’s life.

ON THE ROAD
The story includes not finishing his senior year at Ross S. Sterling High School (he later got his GED), moving to Arkansas after his new family relocated there, and hitting the road to travel the country.

“I left home and went all over, including Arkansas, Missouri, Florida and New Mexico. The opportunity arose where I could do that, so I took advantage of it,” John said.

Over the next few years, John had his share of adventures.

He lived for about three months in Mark Twain National Forest in Missouri, as part of a Rainbow Gathering. What he described as a “hippie culture,” the gatherings are loosely knit communities of people who temporarily congregate in forests around the world to enact a shared ideology of peace, harmony, freedom and respect.

He hitched a ride from Missouri to Florida with a group of Native Americans who were originally headed to a religious revival in Mexico City. They drove more than 400 miles out of their way on their school bus converted into an RV to take John and his friend to Florida.

While living in Key West, John and his friend visited Christmas Tree Island, where they discovered a string that led into some woods. “We started following the string and came up on a huge, two-story teepee this guy had built out of pine trees. Inside it had carpet, a couch, TV, everything. It was amazing. We stayed with him for a couple weeks,” John said.

John with his 5-year-old son, Alex.

Along the way, John had several relationships. He got married twice and had three children, including a 17-year-old son and 15-year-old daughter who were taken by Child Protective Services. He hasn’t seen either since the boy was 7.

“She really didn’t want to have kids. She didn’t want to have the responsibility of a family. So I had the option to divorce her and take on fighting CPS on my own or signing over my rights to them. They just put it to us in court that it was the best thing for us to do, to go ahead and sign over our rights. They basically talked us into it,” John said.

“At that time, my life was not in a place where I could take care of two kids by myself, working full time and with no real family support. So they were taken by CPS and adopted out.”

About a year ago, John was contacted by CPS to ask if he wanted to write a letter to his son.

“I was overjoyed. So I wrote him a letter about four pages long, explaining everything that happened from the last moment I saw him until the writing of the letter,” John said. “But I don’t think he got it. I never heard anything back from CPS.”

John doesn’t know many details about his daughter’s life, but he is very close to his 5-year-old son, Alex.

“It’s amazing. I’ve had a lot of experiences in my life, and he’s the best one,” John said. “My other kids were great also. But this little boy here is my heart.”

LIFE-CHANGING EXPERIENCE
John feels that he has turned his life around.

“I found Jesus. It changed the way I look at everything, the way I look at myself and at other people,” he said.

“I used to be really codependent on relationships. It’s why I stayed in a whole bunch of bad relationships when they should have been over. I felt like I wasn’t somebody unless I had somebody. Now that I’ve found Jesus, he fills that void in me.”

John didn’t come to that realization until his life was at its lowest point. He was in jail on a charge of driving with a suspended license and no insurance.

“While I was in jail, I got into a little bit of trouble. So they stripped me naked, gave me a blanket and put me in this rubber room,” John said.

“I was stripped of everything. I’m talking my family, my friends, my clothes, my self-respect. Everything. They put me in that room, and I walked out a completely different man. I don’t even know how long I was in there. Maybe 24 hours. It was just a turning point in my brain. I can’t explain it. It’s beyond my words how predominant the feeling was that came over me and the way it all just happened. It really was a miracle.

“Things are great now. My mom’s real spiritual. She’s a devoted Catholic, and she’s always wanted me to be on that path. Now that I’m on it, she’s just ecstatic about it.”

John's lowest point came while he was in jail.

Any advice for others who may be struggling to figure out their lives?

“It’s all about surrounding yourself with the right people. It’s so easy to get with people who can persuade you to do things that are not right. For me, it ended up going in a really bad direction. It took me to places in my life that I really didn’t want to be,” John said.

“But I learned that if you surround yourself with positive people, people who will uplift you without bringing you down, then it’s a really positive thing to do in your life. I’ve cut out a lot of people who were really negative. They still try to contact me today, and I just don’t want to have anything to do with them. They’re still out there getting messed up, doing the same things they did 15 years ago.

“People I hang around with now are about being kind, doing the right thing and treating your fellow man like you want to be treated. It makes me feel really good about myself that I’m associating with people who would rather shake your hand and hold the door for you than flip you off and be rude.”